Second Honeymoon

Well, lemme tell ya that the next few months were sheer heaven. Randy and I had what I'd been knowing in my heart we were destined to have. But I guess over the course of the seven months we were apart, we both did some maturing, realization and most importantly, compromise. As possessive as I wanted to be, us living together and spending a whole hell of a lot more time together, I knew that wasn't going to happen. Randy needed the independence and solitutde he'd had most of his life, in otherwords, space. And I was okay with that (well, maybe not as much then as now) because it made the moments we were together that much more special. How could I not give him what he asked?

"...And grateful I would be
If just one damn man would share the need,
To be alone with me."

The months passed and Randy's 34th birthday rolled around. February already? I had been working at Warner Brothers in the creative department that was designing the promotional and tie-in items for the big new movie Space Jam with Michael Jordan. And as such, we were allowed access to the lot's Commissary and of course Souvenir Shop. (It was pretty cool to see the cast of Friends milling about or sitting next to the cast of ER (minus George Clooney) or seeing Ah-nald. But we weren't allowed to approach them for that could result in immediate dismissal. It wasn't the old studio system let me tell you, not like when they'd filmed 1954's A Star is Born with Judy Garland there). But anyway, before getting sidetracked, the point was that I bought this really great suede jacket for RDP as his present.

And he was going to need it as the previous month, Randy had informed me that he'd decided at about mid-May to move back up to Portland to be near his family as Los Angeles has the ability to suck the life out of almost everyone eventually. Remembering how chilly it was standing in the garage smoking my cigarettes, I knew that he'd need something warm to protect him from the elements for the coming Fall. We went out to the movies that night and he wore it in the theatre while we sat in the dark holding hands.

Besides, I'd be coming up for visits once he settled in .

February rolls into March and my 34th arrives. Roommate Suzzane and a few friends and Randy gather at our place for an evening of pretty much nothing. In the middle of the celebration, Randy pulls me over to one corner and pulls out this little box and hands it to me. Inside was a gold bracelet. As he took it and placed around my wrist he looked into my eyes:

"This is for the ring I never got you."

Oh Sweet Jesus! Even now I can't help but tear up from remembering those words.

(For those of you who joined in late - Early on, Randy tried to give me ring. I told him, no commitment, no ring. Scroll down and start with the first post.)

I really can't describe the feeling of having everything you've ever wished for come true in an instant, except to say I hope whoever is reading these words gets to experience what I did that night in their lifetime - finding and becoming one with your soulmate. (And yes, it's the one I'm wearing in my Monroe's a'musing photo.)

So Winter turned to Spring and began turning into Summer (but in California it's so hard to tell) and the date of Randy's departure drew more near. And yet, I wasn't concerned nor worried as it was really a short plane ride up the coast and they left all the time so I'd be up and we'd at least as some semblence of normalcy, even if just for a few days at a time.

The one hard thing to do though was not be there the day his sister and family came down to gather his pack him up and leave. Randy asked this of me, and as difficult a request it was to honor, I understood why, and did. It would've been too hard on both of us, though I would've put on the bravest face until the end. But, again, I couldn't say no.

After all, I'd let him go once and he came back, so we were meant to be. No doubt in my mind there. So, our last night together I honestly don't remember, but Kylie Minoque expresses it so well in a song from her Light Years album (yes, Kylie - so shoot me)).

"Here we are in the dead of night,

Will you keep me warm and hold me tight.

All we have is until the dawn,

Let the night be long and ease the dawn.

I love you more than you'll ever know,

It hurts to see you go.

So Darling sing, me a lullaby of

Bittersweet goodbye.

Don't think about the future now.

These few hours, Let the nighttime envelop us.

Take us under Bewitching spell, bewitching spell.

Here we are in the dead of night,

Won't see you past the morning light

So Darling sing, me a lullaby of

Bittersweet goodbye.

May we meet on our way Home."

How prophetic that last line turned out to be.